Feeling a little better today.  I hurt like hell but made it through an entire day of work.  It is nice to have my brain back, I don't deal well with being such an emotional roller coaster.  Feeling better about my decision, I know it was the right thing to do.  Things are still a little up in the air with me and they guy and I am trying to not dwell on it.  He seems to be just as confused as I am, just about different things, so no matter what we will work through things as friends if nothing else.  Need to keep telling myself that whatever is going to happen will happen regardless of what I want or do.  Hopefully will have something a little more settled next week, but we shall see.  I have the whole weekend to myself, which I would like to say I am ok with but a large chunk of me is not.  But I plan to try to keep myself busy as much as I can while feeling like someone beat me up.  Kind of a weird weekend, I keep thinking I could go see my family, but then I realize that my sister is no longer there and my mom is out of town for a week, so here I sit with myself.  I need to get better at being with myself and plan to work on that.  One thing at a time...make it through the weekend and make it a good one.
I am thinking that 2011 is a year of confusion, not just in my life.  I have seen so many friends go through so many ups and downs this year and I don't know if it is because I am more aware of it or it really is just a tough year all around.  No one seems to know what they are doing or what they want, but I guess at least we are all a mess together!